WHY THE SUNFLOWER?
Young sunflowers track the sun’s movement from east to west, maximizing the sun’s energy for their growth. As sunflowers mature, they instead resolutely face east, which allows them to optimize their reception of warmth and pollination activity.
To me, sunflowers are an inspiration. As we grow - physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually - we do well to attach ourselves to that which nourishes us. As we reach a more mature phase, however, we steadfastly need to fix our gaze to the metaphorical East, so that we, too, may live our final chapter fruitfully. Illness and aging, diagnoses and decline, come as an invitation, albeit sometimes a harsh one, to humbly and intently set our sights on the source of life and to live with hope, despite decline. Such trials call us to clarify what really matters. They beckon us to absorb the warmth of God’s love, even in trials, and to be open to the pollinating endeavors of the Holy Spirit.
Hello, I’m Molly, End-of-Life (EOL) Doula and founder of Prepared for the Journey. My focus is on the “life” part of that title because that is what Jesus came to give us in abundance.
I knew in my twenties that I wanted to work with people as they were nearing the end of their earthly lives but realized that I needed more living under my belt before I would have anything to offer. About five years ago, impelled by an internal readiness and a growing conviction that we don’t do death well in our culture, I started reading everything I could get my hands on about death and dying. I researched journals and collected books written from a variety of perspectives – medical practitioners, psychologists, theologians, philosophers, bioethicists, journalists, and those sharing their memoirs of their own experiences with dying and death. I also looked to literature, film, music, and the visual arts for insights.
In the autumn of 2024, I enrolled in a certified end-of-life doula program offered by the Doulagivers Institute that also included two in-depth courses on care (read: planning) consulting and elder care consulting. I had to put my studies on hold halfway through because my fit and seemingly invincible 90-year-old father contracted a fatal illness that left him with two months of diminished vitality and two weeks of rapid decline. After my dad died my mother, who had acute dementia, came to live with us and then experienced her own precipitous decline. Who knew that I would be privileged to get the “bedside hours” required for my certification with my own parents? Though tumultuous and saddening, those months were filled with many graces and blessings.
I love people from all walks of life and am deeply curious about their experiences, viewpoints, and what “makes them tick.” As doula, I bring an “outside” perspective to family dynamics and hospice teams that invites everyone involved to look beyond the family roles and medical symptoms of those who are dying. I think we inherently find death abhorrent because deep down, we know that we were made for something more, something better: to become whole, and to spend eternity with our Creator and Lord. As St. Augustine said, “You made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” May we live - and die - resting in the Lord.
One of my dreams is to create a network of families who are willing to open their homes to those who are near death and alone so that they are held within the embrace of a loving environment.
